| I often get correspondence which ask questions | | | | case. |
| about the best way to handle a husband's mistress. | | | | Many wives walk away from this meeting or |
| Many wives want a strategy to get rid of this | | | | exchange or words feeling even worse and having |
| person once and for all. Many ask whether it's a good | | | | more doubts. Instead of getting the closure that |
| idea to confront or talk to the other woman. Many | | | | they want, they are now left with even more |
| wives hope that they can either threaten, reason | | | | turmoil, more questions, and more uncertainty about |
| with, or appeal to the decency of this person in the | | | | their situation. And guess what else? Usually the |
| hopes of getting her out of their lives. | | | | mistress walks away from this feeling like she has |
| Often though, this plan backfires. The mistress is | | | | the upper hand. She knows that she's gotten to you |
| usually not at all receptive and / or does not react in | | | | and she knows that you see her as a threat. |
| the way that the wife had hoped. Honestly, usually | | | | Understand What The Mistress Wants And Doesn't |
| the best strategy regarding dealing with a mistress is | | | | Want: If you really want to have an impact on the |
| to not deal with her at all. I will discuss this more in | | | | mistress, you must understand her wishes and fears. |
| the following article. | | | | Often, what she wants is a place in your husband's |
| Usually Talking To Your Husband's Mistress Makes | | | | life. Therefore, she wants to be front and center in |
| Matters Worse And Not Better: First of all, I | | | | your life. She hopes that you will react badly and harp |
| completely understand why you might want to talk | | | | on your husband and react to your insecurities |
| to or confront this woman. Many times, we become | | | | because this makes her look better by comparison. |
| very tired of hiding in the shadows and with dealing | | | | Don't play right into her hand. Don't make her look |
| with this person who has uprooted our lives indirectly. | | | | more important than she is. This leads me to my |
| We want to look her in the eye and make her | | | | next point - her fears. Often what she fears is you |
| confront and address what her deplorable actions | | | | and your husband moving on. What she really does |
| have caused. | | | | not want is for you to pick up the pieces and move |
| But all of our hopes and expectations are based on | | | | on without her in either of your lives. Now, you can't |
| the hope that she is going to be reasonable and | | | | ultimately control your husband's actions, but you can |
| receptive to what we have to say. Our strategy | | | | control your own. You can chose not to place |
| depends on the hope that she gives us the reaction | | | | yourself in the middle of this drama and to not give |
| we are looking for that ultimately leads to our closure | | | | her more power than she deserves. Usually, if you |
| or to an improvement in our situation. This doesn't | | | | paint yourself correctly and just bide your time, this |
| happen very often. Usually, the mistress has her own | | | | relationship will come to a natural end. When it does, |
| agenda and her own needs that she wants to have | | | | you are in a better position to move on if you've not |
| met. | | | | opened up a dialog with her. |
| This is a person who hasn't shown herself to have a | | | | Don't give her any "in" to then reach out and |
| high degree of integrity and empathy. So, depending | | | | attempt to communicate with you later. I strongly |
| on her reaction to give you closure or to give you | | | | suspect that there will come to a time when you just |
| the reassurance that you need is ultimately a very | | | | want to move on and leave this woman behind, but |
| dangerous and potentially unsatisfying game. Don't | | | | if the two of you are engaging with one another, this |
| put yourself at her mercy. Often, she will use her | | | | will be even harder than it needs to be. At the very |
| words and her reactions to only hurt you more. Many | | | | least, if you must communicate with her, do it in such |
| times, she will be spiteful and will tell you things that | | | | a way where you can say what you have to say |
| are only meant to make her look less guilty. She will | | | | without engaging and allowing for further |
| sometimes make your husband out to be the | | | | communications. It's best not to interact at all, but if |
| pursuer, even if this isn't true. Many times, she will | | | | you must, make it short, sweet, to the point. And |
| insinuate or flat out say that your husband is still | | | | make sure that it's only a one time thing. |
| trying to have a relationship, even if this is not the | | | | |